I’ll write by candlelight
‘Cause I don’t want my words
Illuminated for all to see
Want them hidden, even from me.

Seen only for an instant
In the flickering.
Just a glimpse, an inkling,
Of inner thinking,
A portrait of self,
Revealing poor mental health.

I can joke, offer laugh to friend,
Slight foe with sarcastic rebuttal,
Equipped with words of all kinds,
‘Cause it’s only with feelings I fumble.

Stumble around in the jumble,
Ashamed to feel in the light of day.
Want it all to fade away, lose my way,
Within the words that help me bury
What I’m actually writing about.

Jessie Gutierrez