Category: On Life

Posts about family, work, life, existential dread… the usual.

On Outside with no Plants

On By Steven D'AdamoIn On Life1 Comment

I’ve been thinking more and more about the lack of nature in typical outdoor spaces. My in-laws live in a really nice 55+ development where their property is maintained by the management company. It works for them, and they live in a great house where the family frequently meets up for events and holidays.

However.

I cannot get over how completely devoid this development is of any plant life. Some residents’ front yards include tiny garden plots with polite little shrubs or flowers, but that’s it.

This is the backyard view. Mowed grass with shallow berms to prevent flooding.

Where are the trees?!

The last time we visited was a beautiful day with sunshine, a nice breeze, and just enough warmth to be comfortable but not hot. I was outside with my five-year-old for an hour or two, playing catch, chasing him around the patch of grass, and indulging in whatever nonsensical games he came up with.

And then he just seemed to get bored. There was nothing around him to occupy his attention or inspire a creative game.

Now, I fully understand and agree that boredom in kids can be a great way for them to learn how to be creative. But at this point in our day, I felt like he would have been better served by some woodlands where we could just wander until the next game idea popped into his head.

I had offered several times to just go for a walk, but he was not that interested. And part of me understands why. The walking paths through this development are similarly sanitized of any wildlife.

This strip of grass behind the development and leading up to a narrow tree line along a stream was barren.

Just a couple weeks prior, the brownish spot had been growing with tall stalks of grass, some wildflowers, and even a few sapling trees.

Then it was mowed down to… create a better view of the scant trees?

Why can’t this spot have just been left to grow? There had been enough grassy space between the wild patch and the path that the “risk” of wild animals jumping onto the path would have been non-existent.

I was annoyed by these observations on that day, and it’s reinforcing my ideas for covering the slope in our own front yard with shrubs and flowers and letting it grow as it pleases, unmanicured.

Steve D

Book Review: NO GOOD MEN AMONG THE LIVING and the tragic debacle of the War in Afghanistan

On By Steven D'AdamoIn Reviews, On LifeLeave a comment

Last month, I listened to the audiobook version of No Good Men Among the Living: America, the Taliban, and the War through Afghan Eyes, by journalist Anand Gopal.

I was barely a teenager when the War in Afghanistan began in 2001, and I remember the profound effect it had on me at the time.

When the war turned into an occupation and nation-building experiment, and then a resurgence of the Taliban, I knew that I didn’t understand the whole story. In the aftermath of the US’s abrupt exodus from Afghanistan, I was completely perplexed by how fruitless it had all been, with the Taliban back in power, and seemingly stronger than before.

Anand Gopal’s book traces the years before the American invasion, starting with the monarchy and Communist revolution in the 1970s, which prompted Russia’s occupation. From the late 80s and early 90s, Gopal begins following the involvement of various actors in the militias that formed in response to the Russian occupation, leading to the bloody civil war of the mid-1990s. The Taliban had gained control of large portions of the country by the outset of the American invasion, a sudden and confounding incursion, from the perspective of many of the locals interviewed, that was largely welcomed.

Gopal’s accounts of the lives of several Afghan people before and during the American war there is a fantastic narrative. It is also a devastating and infuriating demonstration of the downfall of American policy in the country.

The American policy, as told by several local actors and recounted by Gopal, had been to fight “terrorism” wherever it could be found. This led to local strongmen accusing their rivals of being enemies of the American mission, while American military leaders seemed completely clueless of the tribal rivalries and affiliations that had existed long before their invasion.

It is not difficult to see how the rise of strongmen across Afghanistan, funded by US taxpayers, created a self-perpetuating war machine that favored disunity and brutal politics, even as Afghanistan’s first democratic government tried to establish control.

Even though it was published in 2015, Gopal’s account also makes it easier to understand how the government could collapse so completely and utterly to the Taliban in 2021.

There were parts of this book that made me curse aloud at the sheer ignorance and brutality of it all. This book is not about choosing sides, except perhaps the sides of the civilians trying to survive the war. Gopal speaks to the cruelty of the first and subsequent Taliban regimes, but he also presents the reader with the callousness of American operations, many of which inadvertently targeted civilian homes or facilities (such as schools) that had no connections with the enemies the Americans were hunting.

This was not an easy read, but a necessary one for anyone who wants to understand what it might have been like to try to live through this war. It is tragic, infuriating, and shameful, and it makes me doubt what the American military and intelligence establishment has learned from this war, if anything.

I feel like the figures in this book have more stories that need to be heard, but I fear how they have fared in the intervening years.

Steve D

April Write Day: Setting the New Mode

On By Steven D'AdamoIn Fantasy, On LifeLeave a comment

March definitely felt like typical early-spring time. Lots of goals and ambitions, lots of plans being made for later in the year, and lots of de-hibernation from the grey post-holiday winter.

Last Month’s Goals

  1. Read four books! Like I said, I’ve already finished two this month, and I’m well on my way to finishing two more, so I might as well go for it.
  2. Exercise every other day and get to the gym twice. Same.
  3. Finish New Earth ending and outline chapter structure. Alright, my online class is done, which opens up some time during my week. I fell out of the groove, so I just need to get back in it.

Read four books?

Yes! After a deficit of finishing books in February (but not a deficit of reading), I finally finished a couple of reads I had been progressing through for some time, and added a couple more for good measure.

  • I completed long-time audiobook read Black Leopard, Red Wolf, for which I will post my full review next week.
  • I finished my paperback reading of Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder, which is deserving of its own review because of its thoughtfulness and how it’s influencing how I think about my kids playing in nature, and about gardening/landscaping our yard this year.
  • I read The Valley of Fear as part of my ongoing — and nearly completed — read of the entire Sherlock Holmes omnibus.
  • And I read No Good Men Among the Living, a fascinating and tragically true account of several Afghan individuals trying to survive the early years of the war in Afghanistan. Also worthy of its own review.

That’s a pretty good encapsulation of my overall reading interests: epic fantasy or sci-fi, some mystery/thriller and also classical literature, and thought-provoking nonfiction works about historical events or issues I care about.

I haven’t talked much about my reading of the entire Sherlock Holmes collection by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. It is one gigantic audiobook that I’ve been picking away at story-by-story for about the last year-and-a-half. I knew I didn’t want to try to read the entire collection in one shot, so I’ve just kept the file downloaded on my phone and listened to individual stories piecemeal, trying to appreciate each one in its own right, rather than as a collection.

This is the only way I will listen to these types of collections going forward, and there are certainly other authors I want to tackle next. I’m nearly complete with the Holmes collection, and I’m already eyeing the next long-term collections to work my way through.

Exercise more plus go to the gym?

Not quite, and I think continuing to include this in my monthly goals posts is both distracting me from the real purpose of these posts and putting too much pressure on myself that just turns into guilt.

I’m trying to work exercise more into my day-to-day routine, and I’m getting there in little steps. I think I just need to live it. I keep thinking about exercise in terms of how I used to exercise, which was nearly everyday in dedicated 60-to-90-minute sessions. That’s not my life anymore, and I’m not aiming for that. I just don’t know quite what I’m aiming for at this point, except for more. And that’s not a goal I can reliably track, except with myself, on my own terms.

So I’m leaving it at that.

Finish New Earth ending and review chapter strucutre?

No, and this is one of those items I need to refocus on in this forum. I did make some progress on my final chapter, but I did not complete it.

I wrote last week about finding a new mode, where sheer boredom with doom-scrolling and also general frustration at not feeling like I was doing enough in general had me finding ways to focus on the things I actually need and want to focus on. This could be housework, spending time with the family, or just reading for more than 10 minutes.

The trend has largely held, so far. I just need to expand it to writing as well. One of my strategies to focus more on my writing is to find the time, and allow myself the space, to write in short bursts — 20 minutes, 15, 10, even, if that’s all I can give.

I think another issue I’ve been struggling with is my overall vision for my writing. I have lots of story ideas, but at the moment, it’s difficult for me to visualize actually getting them all done on any kind of tangible timeline. This makes it difficult for me to stick to medium- or long-term goals. So, I need to really evaluate what my medium- and long-term goals are with writing. Not just where I want to end up in some undefined future, but how I can get there from this month, over the next three months, six months, eighteen months.

I’m not committing to what that vision is, not right this second. But I am committing to thinking about it earnestly and honestly.

Goals for April

  1. Finish three books.
    • Current reads-in-progress: Children of Time by Adrian Tchaichovsky, and MCU: The Reign of Marvel Studios by Joana Robinson, Dave Gonzales, and Gavin Edwards.
    • Likely next read: His Last Bow (in the Sherlock Holmes omnibus)
  2. Finish final chapter of New Earth and review story for overall chapter structure. I can definitely do this, even if it takes me twenty tiny working sessions.
  3. Contemplate what my vision for my writing/publishing actually is. I know where I want to end up, but first I need to think about how I want to get there.

Steve D

New Mode Unlocked

On By Steven D'AdamoIn On LifeLeave a comment

I’ve been operating in a slightly different mode of late. Between job-shift, parenting-shift, second-shift, and time-to-myself-shift, I’ve been a lot more focused on doing the things I need and/or want to get done.

I’m not exactly sure where this mode is coming from, but I honestly find it motivating, which helps me get more done. Recent weeks have been up-and-down for me, where I might do the bare minimum on a given night to keep the house in order, and then lazily scroll my phone or watch TV to fill what little time I had before begrudgingly going to bed.

Honestly, I think I got bored of doing that, so I’ve started filling that time with things that actually make me feel good, either because I’m taking more time for self-care, getting things done around the house, or focusing on two hobbies I have paid precious little attention to: reading and writing.

Perhaps my latest paperback read is a part of this — where I’m actually motivated to carve out the time in my evenings to read a chapter. I’ve just started reading Children of Time, by Adrian Tchaichovsky, and after only 50 pages or so, I genuinely look forward to picking up this book each night.

This more motivated mode has also helped me refocus on writing, and I’m aiming to have a meaningful update on that front for my next monthly goals post.

We’re also starting to look into some gardening/landscaping ideas for our first spring and early-summer in our new yard, and I’m looking forward to getting into some of that work.

I’m hoping this mode is more than just a weekly trend. I just need to be able to put the phone down for a bit and let other things occupy my time.

Steve D

March Write Day: Where Did February Go?

On By Steven D'AdamoIn On LifeLeave a comment

Somehow, we’re in another month, and we’re already starting to see hints of spring. I strangely don’t feel ready for spring and then summer. Cold days and occasional snow provide a convenient excuse to hold up inside the house and not be bothered with being social. Now comes spring, and all of our plans for this year. Don’t get me wrong, we have some very exciting plans for this year. I just thought I’d have more time to prepare for them, like, mentally.

Last Month’s Goals

  1. Read 3 books.
  2. Exercise every other day and get to the gym. 
  3. Finish ending for New Earth.
  4. Outline New Earth for chapter structure.

Read three books?

No, and I actually didn’t finish any books in February. However, just a few days into March I finished two books, I’m nearly done with another, and I’ve made a good start on a fourth.

I finished reading Black Leopard, Red Wolf a few days ago, after powering through it the last couple weeks. I really liked it, but I have some more thoughts I’ll share in a review next week. My goal is to make up for lost reads this month.

Exercise every other day and get to the gym?

Not quite. I exercised more like twice per week and made it to the gym once. Not terrible, but also not as much as I’d like. It’s a work-in-progress, as always. I definitely need to get to the gym more this month. That’s been the toughest part to motivate for so far.

Finish ending for New Earth and Outline Chapter Structure?

Noooooooope. My online class finished just last week, and I had one assignment and a group project that took up way more time than I had anticipated. So, while I really tried to work on my story on nights when I could muster the mental energy, I had to focus on the class.

Goals for March

  1. Read four books! Like I said, I’ve already finished two this month, and I’m well on my way to finishing two more, so I might as well go for it.
  2. Exercise every other day and get to the gym twice. Same.
  3. Finish New Earth ending and outline chapter structure. Alright, my online class is done, which opens up some time during my week. I fell out of the groove, so I just need to get back in it.

Steve D