Mistakes and Dishonor

I’m only lonely when I notice
Your absence in the wake of communication –
The sniper sharp focus
On our previous consociation.

I didn’t want to be your first mistake.
– So I withdrew –
Bombarded by remorse all along the way,
‘Cause the corrupt connection was continuous in its vastitude.

I didn’t want you to be my pivotal dishonor;
So I deserted comrades we had in common,
‘Cause each meet was a course in loneliness I couldn’t quite conquer:
I socialize second, miss you first, last and beyond.

Physically, emotionally, technologically – I’ve kept my distance
And met little to no resistance.

 

– Jessie Gutierrez