Easy Ramblings – JG

            Easily, you brand me - why?
 Because all you see is me
 Giving in to instincts like some filthy animal.
 No credit given where credit is due,
 Who the hell are you to sentence me to Hell?
 Well, I guess you're someone who knows, right? Guilty
 of the same sin of wiring, how inspiring that you're willing
 To claim yourself superior
 Because you're perfectly unhappy hiding your interior
 wants and wishes.
 Walk away before I get vicious -
 I'm just a mindless mongrel anyways, right?
 That's all it could be,
 So very fucking easy for you to see,
 Easy for you to know exactly how I got here.
           You don't know the Hell I've put myself through.
 The pain I've offered up in penance;
 the sacrifice, the self restriction
 because I wanted to paint it as an addiction
 I could get over with just a little self control.
 I gave up what I knew was worth everything
 For something in my fucking head.
 In your fucking head.
 In my heart,
 All of it is bound in regret.
 I never said what I should've
 As a daily prayer to someone
 A lot more pure
 Than the men I was raised to bow before.
          Easy? Easy you say - why?
 Because it was oh so easy for you?

Jessie Gutierrez

Author’s Note: Boy oh boy was I angry when I wrote this. It’s been months, maybe even a year, and I can still hear the echoes of how pissed off I was then whenever I read this.


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