Number unknown? That call won’t be answered.
Message left? Another voice I’ll never hear.
Email sent? One of hundreds, I fear.

I’m petrified of envelopes.
That simple white carrier
And all that it contains.
I can’t deal with the news it brings,
Can’t deal with anything real it seems.
So don’t send it in a letter;
It’ll never get read.

I don’t want to open anything
And deal with the consequences
Of my earlier inactions.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
So fast do I chose to do nothing.

Number unknown? That call won’t be answered.
Message left? Another voice I’ll never hear.
Email sent? One of hundreds, I fear.

Lose myself in the words of another,
Lose myself in the worlds of the other,
Somewhere it’s summer, Somewhere I’d wander
Without fear, because I am not
me.
Not paralyzed by decisions I can’t make
And control I can’t take
And by the straightjacket
Of the person I fake is
Me.

Jessie Gutierrez