Since I dare not voice how I feel,
I’ll write it down, and light it up.
Hoping that once it’s nothing but ash,
I’ll move past it, and it’ll cease to be.
So here goes:
I am enamored, enraptured, ensnared;
Suffering Hell’s fires by lying for you,
Forsaking everything I am, but still crying for you.
Your finite friendship means more to me,
Than my everlasting soul that forces me,
To keep my heart tucked away,
As your presence tempts and tortures me.
In the cruelty of terms,
One can only ask for what one
Both knows and deserves;
Leaving me only to beg to serve:
Earning the proposition of a sentinel position,
Standing guard, unconditionally loyal,
Trying so hard to not let my weakness foil
My good intentions while we drift the mortal coil.
I traded voice for silence in fear.
Today, I’ll put pen to paper,
Hoping physical words can,
Once destroyed and disappeared,
Never be resurrected,
Ceasing to be real.
PS: Sooooo I submitted a guest poem! If you’re interested in another dose of my poetry, check it out at: https://writingsbyender.com/2017/03/05/pen-and-paper-a-poem-by-jessie-gutierrez/