What I’m (Re)Watching Weekend Note

One Tree Hill 1×02 – ‘The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most’

It’s been about a decade since I first watched One Tree Hill. The main characters ranged from shallow donkeys to deep, moral artists, you know, once you looked past their knee-jerk reactions to all the crazy drama. The art may have varied, but… integrity was at the heart – in their hearts and in their actions. They faltered and fell, and then, rose up from the ashes of their mistakes. I’m trying to do the same. The following quote struck a chord with me and I thought to share it with you folks:

Peyton to Lucas: “I want to draw something that means something to someone. You know, I want to draw blind faith, or a fading summer, or just a moment of clarity. It’s like when you go and see a really great band, live for the first time and, you know, and nobody’s saying it, but everybody’s thinking it, we have something to believe in again. I want to draw that feeling, but I can’t. And if I can’t be great at it then I don’t want to ruin it. It’s too important to me.”

Is greatness the only goal worth pursuing? Or is the effort itself worth as much, if not more, in the long run? Questions. So very many of them, do I have. Like:

For which do I write? Why do I write?

The book, the poetry, the rants, the rambles, the reviews, this note.

Should I work harder to gain more readers? Does the quality of the art change by the number of viewers? Is it enough to write for writings’ sake? Is it possible to ruin it??
What sucks is that I don’t have answers to any of the questions above, and I sincerely wish that I did, ’cause I  understand where young Peyton is coming from with that confusing blend of artistic drive and abject insecurity, but I don’t know where it leads. As is my custom, I like to jot down anything and everything that made me pause and go ‘hmmm’, so here this is. Tell me dear readers, few and far between, do you hold the answers I so desperately seek?

Later Days,
Jessie Gutierrez

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