Why doesn’t it feel the same?
The difference between the calm plain,
And the tempestuous sea,
Why must it always be,
Me,
Who prefers sinking and drowning,
Over standing on my own two feet.
My crowning accomplishment:
My self-deprecating defeat.

Easy, obvious answers
Easily ignored or distorted.
These feelings can’t be sorted,
And I won’t be comforted,
When the pain is of my own making.
It leaves me shaking, but still:
All my wants are against my will.

The uncaring ocean calls to me,
The waves crash down,
And I lose my doubt,
To find, all in good time.
It’s all in my mind.
The absolute truth is absolutely clear:
Land will never be enough for me.

All my wants are against my will.
I can’t believe I feel this still.
Hypnotized by whirlpool swirls,
My heart pours over, floods,
What I’ve become can’t be undone.

Jessie