Last refuge of the weak and belittled;
Final hope in hiding:
Armed with indifference’s mask
And sarcasm’s broad shield,
There’s the insidious impulse imploring me
To submit, To yield
Before insanity strikes his blow.

Every day has become a chore;
Harder to endure, Harder to ignore
Oaths sworn by birth and loyalties ingrained.
I don’t know if I can shoulder the burden anymore,
Of
Your ignorant words, your reflexive torture
All to maintain appearances.

Peace in quiet
Peace in sleep
I long for silence
That you cannot keep.

Ever present noise; cruel constant lecturing;
It’s the sharpest weapon,
Slicing me open with your deeper meanings,
Prophecies, and preachings.
You cut to the quick unwittingly,
Tearing into pieces I’ve only started admitting
Are an innate part of me.

I’ve begun dreaming of madness,
After lunacy has lulled me to rest –
Losing my sanity to find sanctuary,
From an ever sickening cycle
of psychological violence.

I’m balanced on your ceremonial knife’s edge;
With my truth, you aim for the throat,
With my lies, you hit the heart.
Will my silence earn me a reprieve?

Peace in quiet
Peace in sleep
I long for silence
That I cannot keep.

Jessie Gutierrez

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