You craft these warped mind games
When you know it’s those games I mind:
I’m not equipped to skip to the right squares
And hop to the beat
That only you can hear.
Every day with you near?
It’s poisonous snakes and
Ladders with rusting rungs.
I can’t keep up with your concept of ‘fun’.

Kid games escalate to the insane,
Competitive edge instead of compassion took.
A solid push into the abyss
Where there’s not an unnoticed look
Or word or phrase I miss.
Where there is only darkness
To be found at your absence;
Only light in your view.

You say I only reciprocate
Your attention when my intentions are cruel.
You’ve suggested I’m only invested
When there’s pain and agony at stake.
This poem will serve as confessional
Because I never meant for
Our relationship to be a bloodsport
With us in our respective corners,
Always nursing heart shaped hurts.

I’m sinking into the abyss
Of words used as fists,
And danger as the sponsor
Of our nearing the too late to turn back.
I think we missed our white flag;
The best chance to end this
Without thick scars and thin losses.
So I’ll be the one
That says goodbye first.
So you can be the one to say that you won.

Jessie Gutierrez