How can you not notice?
– It feels obvious –
Like a neon sign has taken residence
On my forehead, permanent evidence
Of the maudlin mess
Manifest in your presence.

Not a ripple created,
Not wave made.
You can’t know
Of that which
There is nothing to show.
But I’m bleeding out slow
All these feelings outpouring in steady flow,
Grown from a drip to a flood,
Infinite and endless,
Without beginning and invisible.
Indivisible from the wreckage
Of living a life with a head under water.

I’m not brave enough to tell you.
Can’t swim to the signals,
Can’t dive into the deep.
Home is drowning and
Answers are too shallow
To matter.

I hope if day does ever dawn,
You don’t forsake me for making you wait so long.
Above the horizon , below the ocean,
I don’t know how you don’t notice.

Jessie Gutierrez