On Why I Continue to Write

Existential dread for writing is real, as it probably is for any creative pursuit, honestly.

I often find myself asking “why” I write, why I continue to believe this is something I should be spending my time and energy on. This question doesn’t normally come as an emotional response, as in how can I go on writing? Who even wants to read my stories? It’s a matter of objective reasoning — existentialist — as in, what’s the use in writing if I’m not aggressively pursuing bestseller lists or millions of readers or international fame. Why am I persisting with this?

I think it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the doubtful voices in your head, so arming yourself with a litany of reasons to keep writing can be helpful when those doubts start to creep in.

For me, in the current moment, the doubt stems not from a lack of desire to write, or even a lack of stories I feel I want to tell, but from the extremely limited time I can spend writing day-to-day, or week-to-week.

Even now, I write this blog post at 11pm, after one long day of work, on the cusp of another, when I should be in bed trying to capture the rest of which I am so often in want. My wife sleeps in our bed across the room from me, as does Teddy, our Jack Russell who loves nothing more than to curl up between us.

In this moment, I’m writing in spite of the things I should rather be spending my time on. At least, that’s what the doubtful voices in my are telling me.

Writing stories is a lot harder than writing blogs, and, as my monthly goals posts will attest, it has become even more difficult for me to find either the time or the mental space to write stories, of late.

So naturally, I’ve begun to question whether it’s worth the effort, the pressure I still put on myself to write.

My conclusion, for now, is that it is. When I was writing my first novel, I felt an urgent need to finish and publish that story. My goal at the time was to publish my first book before I turned 30, and I achieved that with less than two months to spare.

Now, I feel the need to continue to tell stories, but not on any particular timeline. So, for the current moment, I’m writing because I feel as though I should tell the stories in my head, for whoever ends up reading them.

What that means when it comes to publishing them, I’m not sure. They will be published, but the purpose and form of that is more nebulous than it used to be, and I’m okay with that. In some ways, the writing is the point, at least for right now.

Steve D

Creativity Sessions writing process. Evening Satellite Publishing.

Character Sheet Template: My POV Character’s Details

Earlier the month, I discussed my current task to create character sheets for the main characters in my duology of novellas, Uprooted and New Earth. My goal with these is to fill out the flourishes of detail that I skimmed over when first writing these stories, to ensure my characters feel distinct from each other and can each be described consistently.

In that previous post, I listed what I thought would be useful details for me to pin down for each of my main characters. Because these stories deal with family trauma for a clan of extended family, there are a lot of characters. Not all of them will be as fleshed out as others, because some are more side characters.

What I ended up doing was using a basic character template for each member of the clan, and then trimmed it down based on how frequent or significant that character’s appearances are throughout the stories.

For today, I wanted to share the full character template for my primary, point-of-view character: Mikaela.

Character Sheet: Mikaela

Logline: “After her village is attacked, a woman must do everything she can to protect her family.”

Age: 29

Occupation/role: Herbalist and healer; Married to the clan leader with two children; caretaker for her mother-in-law

Physical: I actually don’t have a great description of Mikaela’s physical appearance, because she’s the POV character – it would be odd for her to describe herself, but I should be able to work in a few details naturally, such as the texture/length of her hair.

Clothing: A dagger made from a particular type of stone she wears around her neck tied with a leather cord. This was given to her by her husband as a wedding gift. This type of stone is rare, so this is a precious gift both in its value and its utility for Mikaela as an herbalist.

  • I’d also like to add one or two small details about the clothes Mikaela wears, so I will need to include those in my stories.

How Mikaela…

Thinks/feels about her life in her village: Mikaela likes her village, loves her clan relatives, and especially her clan-sisters, and believes they have everything they need to raise their children. She wishes she had some connection to her mother other than the herbalism Mikaela learned from her. She has not seen her own parents since she was married off to her husband and left the village she grew up in.

Gestures: sighs of exasperation; bites her bottom lip when deep in thought or anxious

What she wants: to raise her son to be a kind man like his father; to raise her daughter to be resilient and to pass her knowledge of herbs and healing onto her

What motivates her: Providing for her children and the rest of their family

What she fears: losing her family – Her husband or son getting killed in the hunt or a raid, her daughter being married off to a different village, never to see her mother again

Filling in the Gaps

As you can see, I have a couple of gaps to fill in for Mikaela’s character sheet, particularly in her clothing and appearance. Because she’s my main character, I wanted her character sheet to be the most detailed, but most of this information came naturally as I was writing.

I will not be going into this level of detail for every character. Even the four or five primary characters around Mikaela will not have this much detail, and the secondary and tertiary characters even less.

In any case, I’m looking forward to completing these and filling in the gaps in my writing as part of my ongoing revision process.

Let me know what you think. Would you take a different approach to character sheets?

Steve D

Creativity Sessions writing process. Evening Satellite Publishing.

My Character Sheet Template

One of my goals for this month is to create character sheets for the main characters in my duology, Uprooted and New Earth. I’ve already gone through multiple drafts and revisions for each of these novellas, so why am I doing character sheets now?

Because I didn’t do them initially, and my early drafts of these stories were heavily focused on plot and dialogue, rather than characters. Going into writing Uprooted, the first of this duology, I had a basic idea of who my characters were and how the plot would unfold with them, but not much else. I was focused more on telling the story rather than adding the flourishes of detail that make it feel alive.

Now, I want to go back and make sure that living detail comes off the page. These stories are snapshots of a family dealing with trauma — there are a lot of names and a lot of moving pieces. So, I want the main characters to feel distinct, each with their own expressions, clothes, gestures, and opinions.

I also don’t want to entirely rewrite my story around these details, so I need to work backwards a little bit. I’ll design my character sheet templates, fill in whatever information I already have for each character from what’s already written, and then fill in the blanks.

You can find tons of character sheet templates online, so I’m creating one that fits my fairly specific purpose of retrofitting some details onto established characters. Here’s where I’ll start.

Character Sheet Template

  • The basics: Name, age, role in the family/clan (family roles are vital in these stories)
  • Logline: Something I always write for my major characters — the single sentence that captures what the character is trying to achieve and what stands in their way.
  • Physical description: the details missing for a lot of my characters. I’ll likely stick to 2-4 simple details, such as distinct facial features or posture.
  • Clothing: This family is from a small village, so their dress won’t differ too much. What can standout: head scarves. Children in this society wear particular styles of headscarves until they come of age. Adults then wear these headscarves differently, depending on their role in the family. This is a crucial detail that I want to ensure feels authentic.
  • Personality: How the characters thinks, feels, reacts.
  • What the character wants
  • What the character fears

I could probably go into even more depth, but I don’t want to overload myself for this month. I’m not even sure how many characters I will ultimately create sheets for – likely six, at the least. Perhaps I can create full character sheets for my mains, and slimmed-down versions for more side characters.

I’ll see how much effort this takes me, and, I just may share a couple of the characters’ details later on.

Steve D

Rethinking the Writing Routine

One of my goals for this month is to write something at least every other day.

This is a bit of a new approach to writing for me, so I wanted to unpack it a bit and see how it’s going for me so far.

Writing Routines of Yore

I used to be able to sit down for a couple hours on a given evening and write several pages, or revise entire chapters. I have never been a write-every-day kind of writer, but I was definitely productive enough to publish a novel and several shorter stories after that.

Those days are long gone. At least, they are not very accessible to me at this point. I’ve struggled to maintain much of a writing routine since the height of the pandemic, when I was in the middle of drafting Uprooted. Those two-hour writing sessions only come a handful of times per month, if that, and that is not enough to write meaningfully.

Similar to my evolving exercise routine, I’ve slowly come to the realization that I need to do something different with my writing routine.

A Writing Routine for Normal Life

What I’ve always struggled to establish is a consistent writing routine in which I could pick away at projects bit by bit. Since I’m not an everyday-writer type, I need to find a different solution. That’s why my goal for this month is to write at least every other day.

I’ve elected to try tracking my writing every other day. I’m also tracking my writing differently.

I’ve always separated my writing from anything I did for this site. I used to have the bandwidth to manage this site separately from my actual writing routines. I’d write posts for this site, and then get some writing done. I just don’t have time to do that at the moment, and I need to stop making myself feel guilty for not writing, even when I need to spend some energy blogging.

So, any form of writing counts for my new routine: haiku, blogs, revisions, DnD character backgrounds. Any way in which I can exercise my creative writing muscles counts towards my goal of writing every other day in a given month.

Progress So Far

Here’s a quick rundown of how I’ve kept up with writing through the first 20 days of the month:

  • 3 haiku
  • 3 blogs
  • 3 revision sessions for Uprooted
  • 1 session working on a new Dungeons & Dragons character sheet

That’s 10 days out of 20, exactly every other day (ultimately, if not in practice. I’ve had to focus on writing sessions three days in a row once to keep up with my goal.)

I think this routine is working for me. It’s giving me the space to spend time on things I both need and want to spend time on, whether it’s keeping this site afloat, preparing for a new DnD campaign I’m really excited about, or working on my “big” work-in-progress novellas.

Overall, I need to hold myself accountable while being flexible with what I work on on a given day.

Steve D

Creativity and Finding an Outlet

Creativity Sessions writing process. Evening Satellite Publishing.

Creativity is tricky. Trying to be creative is even trickier.

In recent months, I’ve found myself searching for more of an outlet for my creativity. Writing stories is my first creative love, but the fact is that it comes with several limitations, some of which I may be unnecessarily imposing on myself.

I also struggle with a lot of the mental aspects of sharing my creativity with others, especially through social media. How much sharing is too much, too revealing, too damaging to my own privacy? Ideas run through my head all the time, and I feel compelled to share them with people, but I often don’t, or perhaps more often I share them in person with my wife or my friends. That type of creativity sharing can be quite cathartic, but it leaves open the question of whether, and what, and how I share my creativity beyond that limited group of people.

This very post comes out of a sense of frustration that I didn’t have something else to write about. So, I’m going to do some unpacking here and see where it takes us.

Limits on My Creativity

I mentioned above that it feels like there are limits to my creative outlet in writing stories. As soon as I wrote that, I thought that many of those limits must be self-imposed, so I’d like to examine them. In no particular order:

  1. Not enough time
  2. Worries over my copyright
  3. Keeping ideas about my fantasy world-building close to the vest
  4. Limited formats
  5. Limited platform(s)

Five off the top of my head; not bad. That should be enough to delve into for a bit.

Not enough time

I’m not a full-time writer and likely will not be in the foreseeable future, so this limitation is partially by circumstance. However, I think it’s also due in part to the way in which I approach writing. I primarily write novels or at least short stories, and so sitting down to write 100 words doesn’t feel like much of an accomplishment.

Now, look, I fully realize that every little bit counts towards the greater goal. I get all the writing mantras. But it can be difficult to maintain that steadfastness day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month as you churn over a longer story.

Worries over copyright / protecting my ideas

I’m combining items two and three, because they feel very much related, although still different

Worries over copyright infringement is not easy to navigate, especially online, as I discussed last week. But even beyond the notion of someone stealing my work, I’m quite protective of my creative ideas, especially when it comes to my world-building universe.

With enough prompting, I can quite easily ramble about the myriad ideas I have for my fantasy universe, but I sometimes worry that speaking my ideas out loud will… release them from my mind. As if the words roll off my tongue and the ideas themselves evaporate.

Strange, I know. I’ve learned to be careful about how much I reveal about my stories, my ideas, and where I might take them, because I don’t want to lose the drive to write them down. Speaking them out loud is a form of sharing them with the world, but I know I can develop them in so much more depth and with more coherence if I write them down. So, I try to “save” my ideas for my writing, or maybe only discuss certain aspects of them, if I want to workshop them with someone I trust.

Another piece of “protecting” my ideas springs to mind.

Limited formats / platforms

I’m also combining items four and five.

I realize that there are tons of platforms out there where I can publish stories for various online communities to read. Wattpad, Tumblr, Reddit, IngramSpark, Kindle, this blog… and literally hundreds or thousands of other websites I cannot even name.

But does publishing my story in one space restrict me from another? Is a freemium story platform like Wattpad too open to exploitation of my ideas? Is there just too much damn content online for any of this to matter? I have no clue.

Creative Limits

If you couldn’t tell, I’m in the process of reassessing how I write and publish my stories. I love the idea of publishing novels, and I will continue to strive for that. But if I’m only publishing a novel once in a blue moon, then where do the rest of my ideas go? Is there somewhere else I can put them to get them into the world without feeling exposed — to copyright infringement, or loss of my ideas to the ether, or whatever else?

These questions bug me, so to this point I’ve resigned myself to the full self-publishing process with novels, novellas, or short stories, because it feels more official, and safer.

But I think I can find something else to fill the drawn-out in-between spaces — spaces in my head, in my publishing schedule, in my day-to-day schedule where smaller ideas can be nurtured and thrive. I just don’t know what yet.

Steve D

The 4 Most Frustrating Story Hang-Ups for Writers

Creativity Sessions writing process. Evening Satellite Publishing.

As a writer, it feels great to find your rhythm with a story. You’re flying along the keyboard — or paper, or vellum — and the words seem to shoot from your fingers. You don’t even seem to have the same tiredness in your hands, or the ink stains on your pinky that you so often get with less fruitful writing ventures.

But we all know those high-flying moments are the anomalies when writing a long piece, like a novella.

More often, you find yourself caught up in some absurdly minute detail that you simply cannot leave behind until you find the perfect word, even if it’s just one among tens of thousands.

These hang-ups can be entirely derailing to a decent writing flow, but you’re not the only one it happens to. Here are a handful of the more frustrating writing hang-ups we’ve all likely encountered.

#1 – That. Perfect. Term. Word.

I mentioned it above, and we’ve all been there. How many times have you searched through a thesaurus to find just the right phrasing? Or some alliterative flair? (I know that wasn’t alliteration, but I didn’t feel like spending several minutes looking for a synonym for flair.) Or even the word with the right etymological root to fit the style of your story?

The answer is too many times. But we’ll all do it again.

#2 – An NPC’s Name, or Clothes, or particular shade of brown hair

I know, I know, writers aren’t supposed to refer to their own creations as “non-playable characters”. Every character is the hero of their own journey, et cetera. But every story has them — characters that you know for a fact you will never see again, but because they’ve met your Main Character in some backwater inn and happen to have a bit of knowledge to help your Main continue their quest, they just have to have a name, and maybe a few clothing descriptors. And a cool tattoo. And strangely penetrating eyes that seem to hide deep-seeded pain. Aaaaaand now you’re writing a short story for them.

I suppose that’s what name generators are for.

#3 – The Dreaded Scene Transition

I definitely struggle with this one. You’re writing a scene that you know has to take your characters to the next place, or the next plot point, but you just can’t seem to make the turn. So it feels like you only have two options: let the transition drag on for another several paragraphs, detailing every step each of your characters are taking, throwing in random chit-chat dialogue that, while entertaining, is certainly not getting them anywhere fast, and overall just refusing to end the current train of thought…

Or you could make an awkward narrative jump that feels like you’re leaving something behind, but you’re not quite sure what. And now you just have to move on.

#4 – The Scene that Grows Too Big

This is sort of the opposite of number three, where a scene grows far beyond what you had intended, either in length, or scope, or even in its emotional weightiness. Maybe some of you wouldn’t consider this a hang-up, but it can be disruptive if it no longer lets your narrative flow in the way you had it outlined. That’s when the Dreaded Scene Transition hits, but you can’t just delete all that great work! So maybe you reform it until it flows better. Or you leave it and change your outline!

More Hang-Ups!

Those are just four potential hang-ups that I definitely run into every now and then, and I’d bet a lot of other writers do, too. Leave a comment with your “favorite” storytelling hang-ups!

Steve D

When Rewriting is more Efficient than Revising

Although I haven’t officially updated you all on my writing progress for April (that’s next week), I can tell you that I have moved on to the second draft of “The Herb Witch”.

Since I wrote the first draft by hand in a journal, I’m now transcribing it to the old electronic typewriter (PC) and making edits along the way. Here’s why this type of rewrite is more efficient than revising a single draft.

Continue reading “When Rewriting is more Efficient than Revising”

Writing a Novel vs. Writing a Short Story

For the first time in my authorly endeavors, I have two major works in progress… in progress.

I’m 60k words into The Warden of Everfeld: Legacy, a sequel-ish novel of 180-200k words that I know I’m not finishing this year.

Simultaneously, I’m 6k words into a duology/novella of about 60k words that I damn well better finish this year.

And after much deliberation and introspection, I can confirm: writing a short story is different from writing a novel. Continue reading “Writing a Novel vs. Writing a Short Story”

Using Side Characters to Provide Perspective

Perspective can be one of the most important aspects of writing an in-depth, detailed narrative, especially when world building is a big part of your writing.

World building is the reason I started writing.

So, that means sometimes I want to write about the story underneath the plot–the cultural or historical context, even if it just pertains to one character’s arc. Continue reading “Using Side Characters to Provide Perspective”

Building Characters To Hide Yourself Within

I’ve always admired Stevie’s ‘Creativity Sessions’ for their purity of endeavor; I don’t think about writing so much as I feel burdened by the drive to write or by the procrastination instead of writing. I’ve accepted this lack in my self – always more emotion than logic, always more flailing than finesse. In an effort to find some middle ground, I thought I’d craft one of these for myself and see how it feels, you know? So tell me how I do in this, my personal step-by-step process of character building:

BLUEPRINTS Continue reading “Building Characters To Hide Yourself Within”