Subtitled: “too poor to be classically educated and dwelling on it the more that I read”
OR “my education is so porous, I could fill a red well”
Occasionally I like my subtitles better than my title and get sidetracked in interestingly irrelevant ways.
On to the discussion!
So recently, (and in the grand scheme of things isn’t everything recent?), I have been juggling between convincing myself that experience in my industry is vastly more important in all things practical and dreaming about having a career that revolves around books. Picture Belle from Beauty & The Beast swinging on the library ladder while getting paid.
Yes, that is the dream, my friends.
Back here in reality, I find myself… perplexed. I love to read. I get grumpy if I don’t do it enough. And yet formal education makes me raise my hackles and scrunch my face up. The approved-for-all-audiences answer is that money is a concern and I’d rather not be in so much debt that it follows me into the afterlife. The real answer is that I don’t want to go back to school and feel ancient because I’m 25. And also that I don’t want to be broke, because in all seriousness, formal education is one expensive luxury.
One I’m not even entirely sure I want. All the cool kids have it and it’s impressive but… is it really impossible for me to get something equally useful but from a different source? The underlying issue isn’t even education so much as documented evidence of intelligence. College is supposed to broaden horizons and teach you how to learn, but isn’t that life’s job as well? Isn’t practice and hands on experience better than only knowing something in theory, anyway????
Excuses. Those are mine and you can’t have them. Even as I’m typing this, I know I’m only making excuses for something I have to do. I NEED TO FINISH SCHOOL. Despite the fact that it will most definitely cut into my reading time. OOoooOoOOoOOOO as a side note update, I am now only 5 books away from hitting my goodreads 2015 year goal of 40 books, so huzzah for me.
I don’t really have a point to this ramble so much as I’m using it as a way of documenting my continued struggle against becoming a better version of me. Maybe take back some of those prior huzzahs for reprehensible laziness and bullshit.
My reading all the books in the world won’t change a damn thing if I’m too stubborn to absorb it all. Hell, maybe that’s what teachers are really there for – not to introduce you to new ideas but to force you do the work to get those ideas to stick.
“Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate
And though I oft have passed them by
A day will come at last when I
Shall take the hidden paths that run
West of the Moon, East of the Sun.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
– Jessie Gutierrez
PS Who cares if Prince Adam was a little furry? He gave her a LIBRARY. He’s a keeper.